I'm tired. Tired of people.

Do you ever just get tired of people? Of talking, of listening, of giving advice, of taking advice or just plain tired of being around people. I feel like it would be easier and less tiring to be around strangers....people that won't ask you questions about 'where you have been this last year', 'how your family is', of 'what i next'. Strangers don't care about your life. Too bad small towns are very scarce with their strangers. Growing up my whole life in this small town it is easy to say that I will ALWAYS run into someone I know when I leave the house. I'm not ready for that. There is so much going on in my mind, the climate change, culture change, lifestyle change, family change....everything has changed.

I have changed. What do you do when you change and then you come back to people who are still the same....and then expect you to be the same? The are always trying to fit you into the old mold of you, when instead you want to show them the new mold. I think the worst is parents. They know you real well and they have an expectation of who they want you to be. Your friends might know you better but they are experiencing change themselves. You parents just don't understand sometimes.

So what do you do? Go back to that old mold of yourself that you have grown out of? Or push through what might be a hard time, stand firm in who you are and break the mold? I feel like staying in bed for a month. But that's just me.

So what is is that I need? Patience? Grace? Both? I think what I really need is love. We always need a little more love. More revelation of Jesus' love for me will bring a greater understanding on how to love others. Jesus didn't fit into a mold, he didn't fit into a group of people. He was set apart, he was an outcast, and he was a history changer.

He knows what we need. He knows us. He knows me. The REAL me.

Jesus you know my thoughts. You know how tired I am of people, how I don't know how to cope with this change, and how confused I am. Give me what I need to get recharge, to get understanding, and to get clarity. Show me how I can be more like you. I believe you love me, and I know you answer my prayers. Thank you for understanding. I love you.

"Lord tell me your ways, show me how to live. Guide me in your truth and teach me, my God, my Saviour. I trust you all day long." Psalm 25:4-5